First-Date Blunders You Should Try to Break

So you have a date with that cutie you’ve been emailing for weeks. Here, tips to ensure there’s a second date.

By Jim Sulski

ob, a marketing professional, contacted Beverly, an attorney, after he spotted her profile online. The two began an email relationship that went smashingly well. After a few weeks’ worth of email, they set up a first date at a local restaurant that was halfway between their respective homes in the Boston area.

The first date seemed to be going well, and Bob was barely able to finish his
Save detailed conversations about ex-lovers for later dates—if ever.
meal because he had so much to say. But when he asked Beverly out for the following weekend, she replied she was busy for at least the next several weeks. They parted with a lukewarm handshake.

Bob’s mistake? “I didn’t give her a chance to get a word in edgewise,” he admits. “I spent the entire date talking about myself.”

Doing all the talking is a classic example of how guys can screw up that exalted first date. “I blew it,” Bob says.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Follow these five simple tips and make sure you get that second date:

Don’t brag
“Women want to know that you’re doing well, but more importantly, they want to know that you like what you do,” says Chris, an ad salesperson. “You don’t have to go on about how much you make, how you creamed the competition in sales or what your car
Lean in, slowly and carefully, for the first big kiss.
costs.” And don’t boast about your massive intellect. Forget about bringing her a copy of your dissertation or the merit badges you acquired to make Eagle Scout.

Don’t go on about your ex
Save detailed conversations about ex-lovers for later dates — if ever. Nobody cares that you once dated Ms. Oil Change 1998, nor do they want to hear about how some woman ditched you at the Goo Goo Dolls concert for a roadie. Instead, focus on the person on the other side of the table.

Don’t force your faves on her
That bar you love that serves nickel beers and 10-cent chicken wings may be perfect for hanging out with the guys, or even for a future date, but think about your lady’s likes when planning your first get-together. What works best is when you head to a neutral place — something that appeals to both of you.

Don’t drop her off and scram
At the end of that first date, don’t just drop her off in front of her house (which assumes you’re a good boy and offered to pick her up). At the very least, double-park and walk her to the front door, no matter how hard it may be raining. “Chivalry still has its merits,” Chris says. “One of my most successful second dates happened because I actually walked this girl 10 blocks to her apartment. She was pleasantly flattered.”

Don’t press for a goodnight kiss
Lean in, slowly and carefully, for the first big kiss. If she wants to reciprocate, she will. If she doesn’t, she won’t feel trapped or obligated to reward you because you coughed up for the calamari and Cosmopolitans. “Women are usually nervous about the first kiss and they want it to be a memorable one,” Bob says. “Which means they’re already thinking about a second date.”

Jim Sulski is a freelance writer.
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